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Episode 216: I Don’t Dig You Out We get examples of various acting techniques, including backacting and pretending to be afraid of portraits.Episode 217: Not Enough Vampire in Your Vampire Show Jason gives his expert opinion re: arm blood, we consider the consequences of dude-on-dude vampire action, and Stanley Kubrick gets a great idea.Episode 213: I’m Upset About Something I explain why . Episode 214: Very Much Alive Barnabas talks about pyramids and plaster for a while.Then he loses track of what he’s talking about and never really recovers. Somebody’s going around perforating cows, and Jason’s going to get to the bottom of it.Episode 231: Bedside Manners The Doctor regenerates, and we break new ground in the field of recaps. Episode 232: Just Add Water A bunch of recap conversations, plus a thunderstorm. Episode 235: The Waiting Room Maggie loses blood, and then Dr. Episode 236: Extreme Makeover Maggie’s disappeared from the hospital, but the most pressing questions are: Why is there a camera in the hallway, and why does everybody keep touching Sam?Episode 233: All Wet It’s raining, so Vicki and Carolyn sit around in the drawing room and talk about how scared they are. Woodard tells Sam that Maggie’s going to be hit by a car. Episode 237: Cold Case Sheriff Patterson was up all night searching for Maggie.Burke is concerned, but not enough to remember his lines past sentence four. Episode 244: Indecent Proposal This episode is basically a series of escalating dares between Liz and Jason, like a very slow and dramatic game of chicken.

Episode 239: Local Girl Mysteriously Disappears An undead ghoul from the 18th century kidnaps a waitress from the local coffee shop, puts her in his dead girlfriend’s wedding dress and takes her on a make-believe date. Episode 240: Open House We review the appropriate security protocol for vampires who have a hypnotized girl on the premises. Snuffleupagus Another etiquette lesson for the criminally insane: How to react when you find uninvited guests hanging out in your house with your brainwashed girlfriend. Woodard thinks he’s going to find out who kidnapped Maggie by looking at her blood tests. Woodard shows up at the Old House and asks Willie for another blood sample, which is a totally normal thing that doctors do.

Episode 246: Family Planning We see the very last lawyer to appear on the show who doesn’t end up possessed by a witch. Episode 247: I’m Someone Else Burke touches Sam again, Maggie invents thinks, and the director tries to figure out how to shoot a scene where a grown man has a conversation while lying on his back in a coffin, without looking silly.

Episode 248: Damsel in This Dress Maggie walked from Collinwood all the way down the hill to her father’s house, wearing a bright white wedding gown and holding a pipe, and attracted no attention at all.

What are people doing in Collinsport that they’re too busy to notice Episode 249: That Room with Those Things Liz and Jason finally let Carolyn and Roger into that room in the basement, and everybody walks around on Paul’s grave.

Episode 250: Exit Strategy Maggie the Vampire Slayer takes action, recruiting Willie into helping her knock some sense into Barnabas.

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Also, Sam Evans has 22 words to say; let’s see how many he can remember before the end of the scene.