Dating advice for nice guys
Shut down the Nice Guy act—because that’s often what it is, and act—-and learn to be good, firm, silly and charming and yourself.4. Instead being a headless chicken and riddling your week with all sorts of awkward encounters from online dating personalities, one weekday evening (preferably Wed or Thu) and one weekend afternoon (preferably Sat) set aside for dates. Just reach for her hand, grab it, walk across the street, and continue to hold. I once had a Twelve Hour Second Date that went like this: coffee (3pm), walk along the river (5pm), dinner (7pm), accompanying the date to a friend’s casual birthday party (10pm), drinks (12am), and walking her home (2am). They want to do everything in dating and then wonder why women become unresponsive. If she likes you, she will bring something up like, “Hey! You can text her an epic romance novel, but it still won’t beat a simple “How are you? Ok, maybe not laid, but still it has a very positive effect. I declared, “I’m gonna call you Giggles from now on.” And I did. Just make sure it’s not offensive, not at the slightest, nor bro-ish manly. Trying just a little more than the rest of the crowd will give you better ROI..—Like an awkward guy who can’t stop texting a cute girl, I’m back. I realize I had accumulated a decent amount of writing material for my book, something I collected over the three years of dating blogging I’ve done. However, I can post a summary of my dating insights here. If you’ve had your mind on a female for more than without contacting her, she’s become stale. Guys love to hold onto phone numbers, emails, and even Facebook friendships, even if they met the girl weeks or months ago, just in case they want to reach out and say “what’s up” to that hottie. For one year, just one lousy sports season, let go of the notion of having an exclusive, committed relationship. When a woman says, “You’re a nice guy…” this is the kiss of death. When you’re with a woman on a date, be polite and friendly. For instance, even though her official name is Jennifer, she might strongly prefer Jen and not Jenny.8. Once I caught a date giggling quietly for the third time. The only examples I can think of are job interviews, the principal’s office when you were a mischievous wee lad, and interrogations at a police department. So ditch the table, and go somewhere where you and the lady can be instead of directly across. When you open the door for her, touch her with a gentle hand on her back. Or one nightcap drink at the local pub works fine, too.14. Having a specific day and time of the week for your one hour date sounds silly at first but it has worked well for me.Please excuse the rough-draft vibe, since I didn’t have time to polish. You can still date and get to know women, but it’s the pressure-free, obsession-free attitude that will liberate you and make you a better dating man.3. But learn to flirt, even tease her, all in good intentions, of course. Take a walk along the river or lake, sit on a bench with coffee, have a cocktail at a quiet bar, or try a new dish at an up-and-coming eatery where they have no table service.12. When you sit side-by-side with her, touch her on the knee for just a second, especially when you two are having a good time. When you are a dating man, you need to have a flow of first dates, not just one or two every quarter.Men who do good deeds for others enjoy more relationships, more sex partners and are deemed more desirable by women. Not so fast, there is a hidden downside to being so nice and accommodating.
The more we talked the more I started to get a different view of the way she saw him.It backfires on the man, because he loses a big piece of his masculine side, the very thing a woman is really seeking. Nice Guy: What exactly do we mean by the “good guy” or “Mr. Research shows pretty conclusively that women prefer men who are altruistic and funny (men like funny women too) above almost all other traits.It backfires on a woman too, when the sensitive, thoughtful man she wished for starts looking soft and ineffective in her eyes. If you are into attraction research, like I am, you can read some of these studies out of the links above. You fail, even before you meet a woman for the first date, because you reek of desperation. Your voice, over millions of years, has been genetically engineered to be sexually attractive to women. Just make sure you’re saying it right and the right version. She can’t wait to go home and start gossiping about you to her girlfriends, who will immediately label you as the Bow Tie Guy. What other instances do you speak with someone unfamiliar across a table? Many adult males can be charming and interesting for just about an hour, but like a bad stand-up comedian, we start running out of things to say beyond sixty minutes. Instead, opt for coffee and a scenic walk where there are plenty of benches and people enjoying the sights. Your troubles in dating is because you want a girlfriend badly, so badly that it is hurting your efforts. What you do is 1) ask her out a date, 2) go on the date, 3) wait a few days, 4) ask her out for a second date, 5) go on the second date and 6) nothing. It’s because we don’t give them a damn chance to reciprocate. You want to do blah-blah-blah with me this weekend? If she can’t do that for a third date, especially when the two of you recently had a pair of good one-on-one encounters, ditch her.5. ” from the soothing, baritone voice of yours when you call her for the first time. I promise you will not resort to texting as much once you experience how easy and fun calling a date becomes.6. People usually like hearing his/her own name, so say it as often as you can, and then say it some more. Giggles, Freckles, Dimples, Cheeks, Bubbles and Blondie are safe.9. It’s hard to see a man with a tie on a first date these days. Throw on a sport coat and to your date you have become The Man of Mystery. Dates go bad because usually you and the woman are at a place where there is a table between you. Nothing good lasts too long and the first date is no exception.
This way you know exactly what day and time to suggest when you are ready to ask a woman out.15. Coffee and drinks can too bland, too boring or too douche-ish for a first date. When the first date ends, regardless of how well it went, lead the woman to her car or her subway stop. If her grasp becomes weak, let it go and –as an excuse– scratch your nose. The crazy part is the date and I had only planned for an afternoon coffee.