Dating a girl in an open relationship
No matter what, say experts, whether a couple decides to be open or monogamous should be a matter of choice.“When there is no stigma to having an open sexual relationship,” writes Anderson, “men and women will begin to be more honest about what they want…and how they desire to achieve it.”As for me, these days I’m a one-man kinda gal—which I learned by being open.In Nordic countries, many married couples openly discuss “parallel relationships”—ranging from drawn-out affairs to holiday flings—with their partners, yet marriage remains a respected institution.Then again, sex advice columnist Dan Savage says nonmonogamy might just come down to plain old boredom.In , Eric Anderson suggests open relationships allow partners to meet their respective needs without demanding more than one partner can give.There’s also a cultural component: Fidelity stats vary widely among cultures, and evidence suggests countries with more permissive attitudes toward sex also have longer-lasting marriages.We eventually broke up (for various reasons, most of which weren’t related to our openness), but since then I’ve remained interested in rethinking relationships—and it turns out I’m not alone.
Even among married couples, open relationships can be successful; some studies suggest they’re common in gay marriages.While I was fine when Bryce made out with a mutual friend, he couldn’t stomach the thought of me doing the same. In numerous studies, open communication is the prime driver of relationship satisfaction (this is true in any relationship), and the best coping mechanism for jealousy.This eventually led to resentment on both sides and jealousy on his—and suddenly I found myself back in a claustrophobic relationship, arguing about who belonged to whom. — New Directions Not surprisingly, the green-eyed monster is a common challenge for nonmonogamous partners across the board, regardless of gender or sexuality. For couples venturing into opendom, it’s important for partners to communicate their needs and work out an agreement in advance of any rendezvous.I wanted to care about someone without feeling owned by them, and I wanted that someone to feel the same way.Add to that the fact that I’d been single for a while (after having been in a monogamous relationship for even longer) and—I’m woman enough to admit it—wasn’t ready to give up the freedom to flirt with strangers.
For many of us, the urge to couple up is a strong one. But does love mean never dating or having sex with other people?