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But what if you’re a straight guy whose interest is model trains?After all, hanging out with a group that consists mostly of retired guys doesn’t seem like a great way for a fellow to meet female persons of the girl persuasion.Yet though we Aspies have a more severe case of human foibles than the average person, there is good news. Accept the Possible – and Cancel the Pity Party It’s a simple fact: dating is not a fun process, and it’s even harder for people with Asperger’s than for most. ” Yes, we’ve all had the pity parties involving Ben, Jerry, and Alanis Morissette. The sooner you get this through your head – Aspie or not – the easier your dating life will be. Shake Off Rejections – Dating is Work, and Rejection Is Part of the Job Description Humans of all types have trouble with dating; almost everyone has been, will be, or is currently being rejected.It’s tempting to spend hours online moaning that “It’s soooo hard to date when you have Asperger’s! And disabilities in general, particularly Asperger’s, can mean more rejections.This is why one of the most vital skills you can develop is the ability to shake it off.One thing that helps me is remembering a sign my dad had posted in his office for his entire working life: “Rejection is part of your job description.” If it takes 200 noes to get to yes, then you collect your noes and keep going.We have little innate ability to figure out the 80% of human communication that is non-verbal.We struggle with reading people, making eye contact, and effective communication – all crucial components of an activity that is daunting even to the most able members of society: dating. But difficult does not mean impossible, and self-pity and moping are seriously damaging to your prospective lovelife.
It’s vital – especially for guys – not to get so hung up on one person that you spend your life going on imaginary dates with someone who is not, in fact, into you.Today, most people have heard of Asperger’s and some even have a vague idea of what it is.We Aspies have some fun traits: we develop socially far more slowly than typical people – the rule of thumb is we are socially and emotionally as mature as someone 3/4 of our age.Developing social connectedness and tapping into that network is not an instantaneous or easy process, but it really works! Friendship skills *are* relationship skills, and don’t you forget it.If you can maintain friendships, you can shine in the dating world, Aspie or no.