Advice on dating woman with kids
"Once the boyfriend is introduced there is no going back, and expectations are raised," she adds.
In early 2011, after almost 10 years of marriage, I found myself divorced, single, in my mid-30s and (gasp!! For the first year and a half of my new “singleness” I shunned the thought of dating. I'm hoping to change all that, but the mere thought of entering the dating world in earnest is scary as can be. Waiting too long to start dating GIPHYAs a single mom, you want to know that a prospective boyfriend can interact well with your children — but making the introduction is a tricky situation."Introducing the children too soon can set the stage for a modern tragedy," says Cantarella.To remedy my fears, I turned to seasoned dating coaches, Julianne Cantarella, MSW, and Elisabeth Lamotte, a licensed psychotherapist and relationship expert, to figure out the biggest dating mistakes single moms make (and the smart moves that should replace them). "It's not only the woman who can be hurt if the relationship ends, but the children as well." A savvy single mom should wait as long as possible before introducing her kids to the potential boyfriend and never make the intro around the holidays, the experts advise."Women should gain a sense of her boyfriend's interaction based on how he treats her and possibly his own children if he has them," says Cantarella, who suggests erring on the side of caution.Not to mention, you are both employed in some way or another and have a multitude of life, family and work commitments to work around. As your relationship grows you will become a priority, but when it’s new, you will be second fiddle to his kids.It’s hard enough to date as an “adult”, but throw in someone else’s child or children and, whoa! While dating, I met and spent time with a few single dads and some single guys with no children. And, if you are OK with that, and understand his commitment, he will respect you and be willing to give more of his time to you.
I was sadly disappointed because apparently, women like I was; single, mid-30’s and CHILDLESS are freaks of nature. Here’s what I know now, that might be helpful for you, too… This is a sign that he is ready to take his relationship with you to a new level. For him, this is a REALLY big deal, because he’s hoping you are going to stick around. If you aren’t ready for this commitment, let him go before he gets here.